This is most effectively read if you imagine the Law and Order DUN DUN at each time point.
7:00- I’m up. Maybe I can listen to a little of my audiobook before the kids come downstairs.
7:05- Thump thump thump. My oldest is coming down the steps. He will either fall asleep again on the couch or proclaim himself to be hungry.
7:30- Breakfast is had by all. Except for my youngest, who has the sleep patterns of a rock star, and a room that looks like a rock star has trashed it. I think that he would make a good rock star. He has the best dance moves of the family, has Rod Stewart hair, and I can definitely picture him throwing a television out of a hotel window.
7:45- Mommy leaves for work.
8:00- The little guy wanders downstairs, asks for waffles with Nutella, and if he can play video games.
8:30- My little one plays video games while his older brother watches. (Older brother has been banned from the game system for 3 weeks. This is the penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct in our house. Unsportsmanlike conduct in our house is disrespecting mommy.)
9:00- I ask the boys what they would like to do today. They say “I don’t know.” I put out a minimum of four suggestions, all of which are met with rolled eyes, or, “that sounds boring.”
9:15- At least one kid says, “There’s nothing to do here.”
9:16- I explain to the kids how they are spoiled.
9:20- We get in the car and head out to the park. (One of my previous suggestions)
9:40-11:40- Great fun is had at the park. My oldest thanks me for taking them. My youngest complains that we are leaving.
12:00- Burritos. MMMmmmmm.
1:00- Home for the afternoon.
1:10- “Dad, there’s nothing to do.”
1:11- I threaten to get rid of all of their toys if they don’t play with them.
2:30- My youngest announces that he is still hungry. This is the first of these announcements. There will probably be two more. I tell him that the kitchen is closed until dinner.
3:00- I try to get something done for myself.
3:02- The boys get in a fight.
3:15- I ask my oldest to do his piano practice and deal with the subsequent whining.
3:17- I explain to the kids how they are spoiled for the second time.
3:40- I try to get something done for myself.
3:41- The boys get in a fight.
3:42- I give up on getting anything done for myself.
4:15- I tell the kids that we are going swimming at the Y. My oldest says, “Again?”
4:16- I threaten to cancel the Y membership and have them spend the rest of the summer cleaning the house.
4:45- We meet mommy at the Y, swim and have a good time…… Until someone else’s kid throws up in the pool and we get out as fast as we can. I enjoy the fact that it was someone else’s kid.
5:45- We whip up some dinner at home.
6:15- My youngest sits down at the table and says, “There is nothing I like here.” The list of things he likes consists of pizza, macaroni, mommy’s homemade soup, and chicken. He holds out for a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Well played, little guy, well played.
7:15- Shower time is announced.
7:15- Shower time is complained about.
7:18- Showers are taken.
8:00- Mommy lays down with the boys to read with them.
8:15- Mommy falls asleep and the book falls and hits her in the face. Oldest pokes her to wake her up.
8:20- Mommy falls asleep and the book falls and hits her in the face. Oldest pokes her to wake her up.
8:25- Mommy falls asleep and the book falls and hits her in the face. Oldest gives up and reads to himself.
9:00- I look at them all sleeping and think that there are still no other people I’d rather spend my day with.
LINKS
- Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights, revisits Odessa twenty five years later. This is a really interesting read.
- There will be a “blue moon” tonight. Here’s what that means.
- Earl the Grumpy Dog has a Facebook page. It’s worth a look.
- Two employees at Subway foil a robbery attempt by ignoring the guy. My favorite story of the week.
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