I get it. Marvel pretty much owns summer movies these days. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy superhero movies. I do. But they’re starting to wear a little thin. How many times can you save the earth from aliens or megalomaniacs? Hold on the phone is ringing………. That was Marvel. They say you can save the earth until it isn’t profitable anymore.
In this post I am going to make the case that Crocodile Dundee is better than most Marvel characters. There are a gazillion Marvel guys and I don’t have the time, or the desire, to do a side by side comparison for each of them. Today I’m just going to go over some highlights.
- The Hulk– He’s big, he’s green, he likes to break stuff. I’m down with all of that. It’s Bruce Banner I can’t stand. What a wuss. If you visited Bruce Banner at his apartment, or lair of sadness, or wherever he hides out, you’d find him watching foreign films. To quote Bowling For Soup, his iPod would be full of “singers who are mad at their dad.” Mick Dundee would never live a sad life like that. He is totally comfortable in his own skin. He only got bummed out once, when he thought a girl chose a doofus over him. Did he sulk? Nope. He decided to go check out America. As far as breaking stuff goes, Mick killed a crocodile with a knife. Good enough.
- Thor– Thor is cool. I just get the impression that he’s not all that bright. The alien family drama is tiresome. The hammer thing is just kind of silly. Really, he’s just a poor man’s Superman. Mick Dundee is way more fun to watch.
- Wolverine- Let’s just say that he shares an iPod with Bruce Banner. He’s another guy with more angst than the entire sophomore class at your local high school. Mick has none of these problems. In his second autobiographical film he was in the outback, being chased by a crazy cartel boss who had kidnapped his buddy, and then his girlfriend mistakenly shot him. Angst level during all of this – zero. In fact he was kind of having fun.
- The Entire Fantastic Four– Not just because the movies were bad. Let’s run it down. Stretchy guy, invisible girl, fire guy who can fly, and big rock guy. Nobody cares about stretching. Ask Gumby. Fire guy, meh. Invisibility is cool. Rock guy is a poor man’s Hulk. Mick can sneak around in the outback as if he were invisible, he rescued his girlfriend from a drug lord’s compound, he was raised by Aborigines, he has no idea how old he is, he can basically speak to animals, and again, he killed a crocodile with a knife. Not to mention the cool Australian accent. So yes, he’s better than the entire Fantastic Four.
There are some great Marvel characters. Iron Man (before he started hanging out with Bruce Banner in Age of Ultron), and my personal favorite, Ant Man. Those guys are on the level with my hero Crocodile Dundee. Why? Because they don’t take themselves too seriously. But neither of them can throw a boomerang.
LINKS
- The theme song for the new Bond movie is out. Here is an article about it. It’s called Writing’s On The Wall. Listening to it is like taking an Ambien and following that up with a Lunesta. They should have just let Adele do it again.
- Researchers have discovered that chimpanzees love horror movies.
- There was a fight over a Nutella sample at Costco. What a great sentence that is.
- September 25 is Mark Hamill’s (Luke Skywalker’s) birthday. From the looks of these autographs he’s getting tired of signing Star Wars stuff.
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