Every holiday season, Philadelphia moves the homeless people out of Love Park and sets up a German Christmas Village. From right after Thanksgiving to right after Christmas you can go spend exorbitant amounts of money for things, but feel good about it because of the charming atmosphere and giant Christmas tree. We made a trip down there with the family this year. It was not our first trip. I remember our first trip very well. All because of my youngest son.
He was three. When I describe his personality to people I will usually say things like, “He’s,,,,,,, how do I say this? He’s very passionate about things.” You never know what he is going to be passionate about. It could be lunch, or not taking a bath, or which toothbrush he believes is his. On this day it was pretzels. You might think, “How can you be passionate about pretzels?” Hey, I’m with you on that. Pretzels are nobody’s first choice when it comes to food. You usually end up eating them by accident, or last resort. “Man am I hungry. What do they have to snack on? Pretzels. Ok,,,,, I guess.” Or. “What should I get at this snack bar? A sandwich for 10 bucks or this soft pretzel for 1.50? Well, I’m poor, so I’ll just drown the pretzel in a pint of this yellow mustard.” At the Christmas village, they offered all types of expensive food,,,,,,, and giant Bavarian pretzels. Yes, somehow we ended up with the giant pretzel, an admitted food failure on my part. It was so big that it came in a medium size pizza box. We showed the boys and told them that we were all going to split it. This was unacceptable to my three year old. He told us that he wanted his own. We told him no. And so commenced one of the great tantrums OF ALL TIME. He ramped up to all out rage in no time at all. The indignity of having to share a pretzel was something that he could not endure. There we were behind some of the Christmas village shoppes. Three year old alternately lying on the sidewalk (face-down) screaming, or being held by one embarrassed parent or the other, at which point he screamed louder. Six year old eating the pretzel and watching the scene, obviously entertained. Strangers walking by and trying to decide weather to ignore us or to call social services, because from all appearances, we had done something horrible to this child. This went on for twenty, solid, agonizing minutes. (My wife says it was more like forty five. I say it felt like two hours.) Then, just like that, he decided that his protest had been of appropriate legnth, and he calmly ate his part of our giant snack.
This year when we returned to this small slice of faux Bavaria in Center City, I took my now six year old to the very spot on the sidewalk where he had performed his passionate protest and explained what he had done there. He thought it was hilarious. Someday that passion will prove valuable to him. I only hope that we can channel it into something worthwhile. Like, I don’t know, building his own giant soft pretzel empire, so that he will never have to share one again.
LINKS
- Scientists are developing artificial intelligence. Have they never watched movies,,,,, at all,,,,,, is it just me?
- There is a travel advisory out for the Caribbean. Apparently mosquitos are now carrying something called the Zika virus. All this means to me is that the beaches will be less crowded.
- This Star Wars Undercover Boss skit from SNL is funny. Unless you’re one of those strange people who’ve not seen Star Wars. If you’re one of those people, please get some therapy, and maybe a blu-ray player, and stop watching documentaries. Live a little.
- A 71 year old Siberian woman who has lived as a hermit her whole life recently had to be airlifted to the hospital. While at the hospital she binge watched every season of the Bachelor. Or maybe not.
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