Hermits (and some links)

The Superbowl is over.  I missed most of the third quarter because my wife wanted to watch Downton Abbey.  I know, you’re like, “Wait, couldn’t you just watch it on another tv?”  No. No I couldn’t.  We only have one tv in our house because we are better people than you.  I’m kidding, we’re just cheap.  Anyway, when I tuned back in to the game, I realized that Downton Abbey had been way more exciting.  On another subject, I think the Coldplay halftime show would have been better suited for the synchronized swimming world championships.  If you saw it, you know what I mean.

Last night I started feeling a little under the weather.  When I woke up this morning, I crawled out of bed and climbed right back into bed.  I spent most of the morning feeling achey and binge watching Fear The Walking Dead.  I never get to watch those shows when my wife is around.  If I am in the middle of an episode and she walks into the room, she immediately starts to make faces like she just swallowed a bug.  At this point, I know that if I don’t switch to another show, she will tell me everything she doesn’t like about my choice of entertainment.  It’s a long list, and I don’t have that kind of time.

Back to this morning.  I enjoy the zombie shows, but it bums me out that most of the people left alive are really not people you’d want to hang out with.  Never in these shows does anyone with a sense of humor survive.  They’re all super serious.  It might be just me, but the zombie apocalypse seems like it has a lot of unmined comedic material. If I was present for the zombification of the world, I’d probably prefer to be a hermit.  I wouldn’t want to hang out with all those buzzkills.  I’d just fortify the library and live there by myself.  All the scary books would have to go though.

Thinking about being a hermit reminded me of an actual hermit.  When I was in college, my future wife and I went to Vermont to be in our friend’s wedding.  They lived out in the mountains.  It was snowy and beautiful and cold.  One day before the wedding, our group of friends were throwing snowballs at each other.  We were on a mountain road, near a clearing that had a bunch of abandoned vehicles in it.  I made some snowballs and looked around to find a target.  I saw someone disappearing behind one of the cars and launched a volley of well aimed snowballs in that direction.  Then I turned and saw everyone from our group.  “Who was I just throwing snowballs at?”  I asked.  One of the local guys proceeded to inform me that a hermit lived in one of the abandoned buses.  He didn’t like people much.  This I understood.  “Especially women.”  This I could not grasp at all.  I guess there won’t be any baby hermits running around.  So, the only actual hermit that I’ve ever come close to meeting, I possibly hit with a barrage of snowballs, which in his mind probably affirmed his choice of lifestyle.  He didn’t come out to have a conversation with us or tell us that we shouldn’t be throwing stuff at him because,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,,, he was a hermit.

Because this was a really round about way to get to that story, I feel like I need to summarize.

• Superbowl – boring
• Me – sick
• Zombie shows – humorless
• Hermits – Would consider being one, and also threw snowballs at one

LINKS

• A town in New York has been overcome with a cat urine odor.  This seems like an X-Files case to me.
• Meanwhile in Alabama.  A guy in a clown suit was arrested for DUI.  My favorite quote from the story- he “gave no explanation for his odd attire.”
• Chipotle wants you back.  They’re offering free burritos.
• Would anyone like to adopt a giant rabbit?