Being on Facebook is like having a schizophrenic life coach. The life lesson memes are never ending.
- “Live IN THE MOMENT”.
- “Work hard for your goals. Like right now. Stop living in the moment and make some money.”
- “STOP!!!! Now go smell the roses.”
- “Make every moment count.”
Great. Thanks.
It seems to me that all of this advice is way too broad. For those of us who like to deal in specifics, I am sharing five valuable life lessons you probably haven’t seen in your news feed.
- Don’t underestimate oven mitts. They’re great for more than removing delicious baked goods from the oven. Do you have any pots with metal handles? Have you ever tried to remove those things from the stove right after you turn off the gas? Oven mitts my friends. Also. If you are ever in an argument with your lovely wife, and you feel like you’re close to making the awful mistake of pointing at her while you are emphatically making your point,,,,,,,,,, oven mitts my friend. You will be unable to point and you will look totally ridiculous arguing while wearing mitts on your hands, bringing needed levity to the situation.
- Always get a lollipop when you go to the bank. When the teller at the drive thru asks if you need anything else, always say, “Yes, a lollipop.” Even if your kids aren’t with you. It’s not like you’re getting much from the bank anyways. In fact they’re probably nickel and diming you for tons of stuff. Might as well take their candy. Life is better with a lollipop.
- Beware of buffets. I ate at a buffet on the boardwalk in Atlantic City one time, and I’m still not sure if the ingredients in that food were actually meant for human consumption. Personally, I am against any buffet that isn’t preceded by the word breakfast. If a restaurant advertises 80 different varieties of food, odds are they don’t make any of them well. Go to places that only do one thing and do it well. You will be happier in the long run,,,,,,,, and you will avoid the runs.
- It is important to like the smell of your dryer sheets. If you end up buying a box of dryer sheets with an unsatisfactory smell it can ruin approximately one half of every day. Yes. One half. That’s about how long it will take for your clothes to lose the scent. Assuming that you wear clean clothes every day. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. If we’re being honest, you and I both know you’re not going to throw out a whole box of dryer sheets. You’ll suffer through for months just like I would, because we’re cheap.
- Don’t skimp on flip flops. I love flip flops. You don’t have to tie them. In fact, they are completely hands free. They are the ultimate footwear for someone determined to “make every moment count.” Take my advice and get yourself at least one really nice pair. I actually have multiple pairs. I have a casual pair for working around the house. I have a pair for every day use. And I also have a leather pair for those situations that require something more formal. What better way to send a signal that says, “I am fully relaxed, but I also understand the importance of this situation.” Yes, flip flops make life better.
(For any life advice that is actually important, I refer you to the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments.)
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