How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Mouse

Image from pixabay.com

Our family just returned from a Spring Break trip to Florida.  We spent the first three days of our trip at Disney World,  “The Most Magical Place On Earth”.  From what I’ve been able to gather from our family’s two visits to Disney, a good part of the magic involves making money disappear from your wallet and then making you feel good about that.  As I sit here thinking about our trip and how I didn’t really need to put a new roof on my house, I sip coffee from my fantastic complimentary travel mug. Here are some highlights and observations from the land of the mouse.

• My ten year old son does not enjoy roller coaster drops. Before getting in line for any roller coaster, inevitably the question would come.  “This ride doesn’t have any big drops does it?”  Being the loving, caring parents that we are, my wife and I would answer, “No!  Now get in line.”  Some people may say that this could lead to trust issues and therapy later in life.  To them I say, “Hush!  Get in line and stop trying to ruin my vacation.”  Trust issues and therapy aside, there was another consequence to all of this.  Every thrill ride has a spot where they take your picture.  For a fee that is slightly more than reasonable, but slightly less than preposterous, you can own this photo that will forever remind you of how much you enjoyed your ride experience.  In our family’s case every photo showed two parents and a six year old laughing and smiling, and one unamused ten year old.
• When visiting Disney for multiple days, their dining plan options are usually the most cost effective way to eat.  Even when you have the dining plan, Disney insists on putting a price rundown on the receipt they give you at the register.  So, instead of getting a receipt that shows that you just used one meal credit, you get a receipt that shows you what your meal would have cost had you paid cash.  The number is usually really out of whack, so it leaves you feeling like a financial genius.  “Look honey, it’s a good thing we bought this dining plan because otherwise this lunch of burgers, fries, and drinks for four would have cost us $393.72.  We are brilliant!”
• We have been to Disney twice.  You’d expect the children to be the ones to get overwhelmed and have a meltdown.  In our family’s case it has been the parents.  The first time I remember my then 7 year old looking at us like, “My mom and dad really need  to get a grip.  Why am I the rational one here?”  This time, my wife and I decided to institute a poorly thought out, “NO GRUMPINESS” policy.  My six year old, who operates at 100% of whatever emotion he is feeling at present time, did not handle this well.  The result of our attempt at forced happiness——–   on the second morning of our vacation we were the proud parents of the only crying 6 year old in the entirety of Disney World.
• We spent the last Disney day at the Magic Kingdom.  Our plan of getting there early and beating the crowds to every big ride worked perfectly.  Big 5 done in 2 hours.  When we got back to the hotel that evening we were all tired.  Ten o’clock came and not one of us was left awake.  Then eleven o’clock came.  Someone rapidly knocked on the door of our room with a key.  My half asleep wife mumbled something, the person outside responded, my wife mumbled again.  AND THEN, the door to our room started to open.  I am a notoriously heavy sleeper.  In college, I slept through a fire drill with the alarm blaring right outside the door to my dorm room.  My wife had woken up more by now and she was startled.  She roused me and I was totally confused.  All I knew was that it was dark, the room door was opening, and it wasn’t supposed to be.  Naturally, I gave what I will describe as my best unintelligible karate type yell.  It worked.  The door rapidly closed.  By the time I put on a shirt and  went outside, whoever had  been there was gone.  We called the front desk to figure out what had happened.  Half an hour later they called us back and told us that one of their employees had gone to the wrong room and I had scared them away with my gallant yelling.  I’m not sure if I believe this.  I tend to think that it was Mickey or one of his henchmen, Pluto, Goofy, maybe Captain Hook.  I picture them in full costume outside our door looking back and forth to make sure there were no witnesses as they entered our room with a gazillion brochures to give us the hard sell on the Disney Vacation Club.

In closing I would like to say that there really is no place like Disney.  The attention they pay to detail is second to none.  At some point in their lives, everyone should skip three or four mortgage payments and take the kids down for several days.  And when you do, take my advice and don’t pass up the buffet at the Tusker House in Animal Kingdom.  It’s awesome.