I live near Philadelphia. A few weeks from now the city will be graced with the presence of the Democratic Convention. Of course, I am using the word grace loosely. Politics is an awful business. If I asked my kids what they wanted to do when they grew up, and one of them said they wanted to be a congressman, I’d immediately put them in timeout. Since it appears to be too late to move the convention to a different city, I think I will use it as a teaching experience. We are going to learn some hands on lessons about politics.
I think that we’ll start out with a good old-fashioned protest. Grievance culture has kept the protest alive and well. There are so many straw man protests that we could choose from, but we’re going to think outside the box. We’re going to protest for laws that already exist. Example. Women’s right to vote. Picture two boys, ages six and eleven, and their father (we’ll just say he’s in his late thirties) on a street corner outside the convention hall with signs proclaiming that women should be allowed to vote. Then, (and this is the payoff) whenever someone stops to inform us that women have been able to vote since 1920, we’ll act surprised. I’ll turn to my boys and loudly say that things have definitely gotten worse since 1920, so maybe the whole women voting thing wasn’t such a great idea. (Before someone decides to protest me, I would like to point out that this is obviously a joke. And if you didn’t realize that, we will consider removing your right to vote.)
After our protest, we will move on to a lobbying lesson. All of us will dress in three-piece suits and track down a member of congress. Shouldn’t be hard. We hope to find one that is slightly inebriated. Again, shouldn’t be hard. Since this is the democratic convention, we’ll claim to be lobbyists from some green energy battery maker. In our meeting we will explain that our batteries are better than anyone else’s, and that we need taxpayer money to build a plant in the congressman’s state. When they appear noncommittal to our venture, we will explain how some of that taxpayer money could end up in a numbered account in the Caymans. Voila, lobbying lesson complete.
There is so much to learn from politicians.
How to make promises you never intend on keeping.
How to answer questions. Could be very useful at school.
Teacher: “Why haven’t you finished your project?”
Student: “That is a fantastic question Debbie. Can I call you Debbie? I think we can trace this particular problem back to the definition of the word ‘project’. The issue seems to arise from the fact that we each have different understandings of this word. I’m sure we can work this out, and in the end you will understand that you are more at fault. I suppose that I will have to check with a member of my staff and get back to you. I hope I can count on your support in November.” (Big empty smile)
How to start unnecessary wars.
How to install an email server in your extra bathroom.
How to be the third member of your family to run for president and then blow a 100 million dollars without winning a single primary.
How to take multiple large donations from Wall Street firms, and then campaign against them.
How to vote for the lesser of two evils.
By the time I am done with my lesson plan, my kids will never want to be involved in politics. Which, of course, is the whole lesson.
Not sure what you want your children to be…non voters. My politics are different then my parents. I have two grown son. As for politics one my son is blue and the other one red.
But we do get along fine.
Coffee is on
This is a humor piece. My kids know where my politics lie and I am indoctrinating them appropriately. 😉
This is a great post! I can so relate to basically everything you said. It’s sad that while stated sarcastically and as a “lesson of life,” everything you used as examples and the “how to” list are typically the true state of politics today!