7 1/2 Things That I Am Thankful For

I avoided posting a Thanksgiving message yesterday because I know what all of you were doing.  Not browsing the net.  No, you were passed out in various places around your living rooms while football games were being played on TV’s no one was watching. So, I pushed this off until today, hoping that everyone would be home by now after having clawed your way through throngs of people to get discounted electronics.  Congratulations on your purchases.  Now here is my own deeply discounted list of things that I am thankful for this year.

1. I am thankful for my kids.    Even when the small one punches the large one on Thanksgiving morning, giving him a bloody nose.  He got his right hook from his mother.  Trust me.
2. I am thankful for Bruce Willis.  It’s like I tell my children every day.  “In a world full of whiny Hulks and Thors and depressing Batmans and conflicted Ironmans,,,,, be a John McClane.”  Of course, I rethink this advice when one of them gives the other a bloody nose, but eventually I come to the same conclusion, because if I have to see another comic book movie I swear I’m retiring to a Tibetan monastery.
3. I am thankful for Mexican food, or as they call it in Mexico, food.  If foods of all nationalities had a war, Mexican food would surely win on the basis that, meal for meal, it has the most solid offerings to bring to the metaphorical table.  Also, if there was such a war, English food would probably just get lost on the way to the battlefield and end up starving to death.
4. I am thankful for Islands Magazine for sending me Facebook updates on cold winter days that make me happy and angry at the same time.
5. I am thankful for anyone who reads this blog.  Your good taste is an asset to you, and may the new year bring you and your family many blessings and prosperity.  These blessings can be spread to all of your friends if they also read.  It’s like a pyramid scheme. The more friends you send my way the more good fortune you will have.
6. I am thankful for parmesan cheese.  Not just any old parmesan.  Good parmesan.  Trader Joes discontinued their brand, even though I staged a sit in at the local store by myself, chanting, “what do we want, Trader Giotto’s Parmesan and Romano, when do we want it, last Tuesday.”  Being banned from a grocery store is embarrassing.  Anyway, for anyone interested, I am currently recommending Mama Francesca’s Parmesan, Asiago, and Romano.
7. I am thankful for my wife.  She is exceedingly smart and cute and cooks good food and for the most part trusts me when I say things like “I got this.”  In other words, she continues to be out of my league.

7  1/2.  I am thankful for NERF guns.  But I am only thankful if I am the one shooting them. I am not thankful for them when I am having a conversation with someone and in the middle of said conversation I get hit in the back of the head with a dart and hear a 7 year old giggling and running away.

God Bless you.

Happy Thanksgiving