A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Strange Thoughts

I was at the grocery store the other day.  For the second time.  I had been there earlier in the day and couldn’t think of anything I needed.  Then, later in the day, I did think of something.  No!  I don’t need to write a list, thank you very much.  I just need to think of everything I need on my first trip.  I’ll get the hang of it.  Besides, if I hadn’t gone back, I might not have noticed the stack of Duraflame artificial fireplace logs and the remarkable marketing photo on the side of their boxes.

It was worth stopping and pondering.  My mind went in several different directions, all of them odd.  Thus, making this one of the best marketing photos ever,,,,,,,,,,,,,, in my opinion.

The product is a fireplace log.  But if you look at those people on the side of the box, they’re telling you it is so much more than that.  The expressions on their faces tell you that they are more than pleased with these logs.  These logs are the best purchase that have ever made. They are happier at this moment, sitting by the fireplace, than at any other moment in their lives.  This moment is better than their wedding day, better than the birth of their children, better than that promotion they got last week.  In fact, they may just skip work tomorrow and sit by the fireplace.  These logs are that good.

The picture also made me a little wary, though.  It crossed my mind that this is what cult members look like.  Had the scientists at the artificial log company included some kind of hallucinogen in the log-making process?  Something that gets released into the air when the product is burned?  Something that makes you receptive to the idea of buying more fireplace logs, and, I don’t know, joining Scientology?  Cause if you look at these two closely, they look a little high.

Then I read the text under the picture, and I realized, those crazy scientists are marketing this as an aphrodisiac.  That look on their faces is anticipation.  Tonight’s the night.  We’re gonna break out the bear skin rug, lay it right here in front of the fireplace, and be fruitful and multiply. This Valentines Day, we’ve all got an extra purchase to make, guys.  “Hi honey, happy Valentines Day.  I brought chocolates, roses, and fireplace logs.”  WINK WINK.

I haven’t stopped to notice the marketing on any product since the last time I bought tater tots. And that’s just because I love tater tots, not because the marketing was anything special.  It was actually just a picture of tater tots.  That’s really all you need to sell them.  So the fact that Duraflame stopped me in my tracks is a testament to there marketing genius.  Or to my odd thought process.  You decide.