Hi, how’s it going? I realize it’s been a while since I’ve posted here. I’m sorry. I know you’ve all missed me terribly. If any of you were worried I apologize. I assure you that I was okay. I wasn’t in jail, or kidnapped, or living in New Jersey, just taking a break while landscaping my yard and installing windows in my house. Many things have happened to the world in my absence. Most of them are not my fault. Although I may be responsible somewhat for the parmesan cheese shortage of late 2022.
So. Where were we? Right. College. My oldest kid is going away to college this fall. Luckily for mom and me, he chose a school that is only 277 miles away instead of the one that he had originally preferred which was 1299 miles away. We’re all excited for him. I already have two hoodies for his school and am exhibiting more school spirit than for any college I actually attended. My wife has been spending unseemly amounts of money trying to make sure that his dorm room is more well-equipped than our actual home. His younger brother is busy pretending that he won’t miss his big brother
It’s a little less than a month now until drop-off-day. I don’t like to think about that, so I’ve been filling my time with coming up with last bits of fatherly advice. Here are a few of my best.
“Always be on the lookout for events that include free food.”
“Don’t trust any student that ties a sweater around their neck. They’re most likely villains.”
“Don’t date dumb girls.”
“If you do it right, your college years are nowhere near the best years of your life.”
“Taco Bell is very underrated.”
I’m going to miss my big guy. He’s a good kid with a great big heart, and the school is lucky to have him. And they’ll be lucky to have me at all sporting events. I’m a legendary heckler.
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