Happy Thanksgiving (a top 10 list)

I’m finally done eating.  I was full a while ago, but that didn’t stop me.  Like Louis C.K. says, “I’m not done eating when I’m full.  I’m done eating when I hate myself.”  Now that I am thoroughly disgusted with my gluttony, it’s time to reflect on the top ten things that I am thankful for this year.  Here we go.

1. I am thankful that I got to spend the summer with my boys.  It was priceless.
2. I am thankful that George Lucas will have nothing to do with future Star Wars movies.  Not only did he ruin three already, he messed up an Indiana Jones movie too.  You’d think that would be impossible, but then they brought in Shia LaBeouf and had him swinging through the trees like Tarzan.  Movie ruined.
3. I am thankful that my wife’s best friend came to spend Thanksgiving with us.  They were up late cooking last night.  I was also working,,,,,,,,,, on a Jessica Jones binge watch.
4. I am thankful for Jimmy Fallon’s thank you notes.
5. I am thankful for the teachers at my kid’s school.  They’ve all been really great for them.
6. I am thankful for Chipotle.  I’ll risk a little E. Coli and salmonella for a good burrito.  I applaud them for trying to create a real, “I’m eating in Mexico”, experience.”
7. I’m thankful that family and friends visit during the holidays.  HOWEVER.  I am not thankful that everyone nixed my idea of a Mexican Thanksgiving.  I was left without recourse, so I did what the New York Times would have done, and just called them all xenophobes.
8. I am thankful for football.  It gives me something to do during those long winter months, which I affectionately refer to as the “devil’s season.”  I recently told my wife that the winter was my least favorite thing about the fall of man.  She replied by telling me that I was “ridiculous”,  or something like that.
9. I am thankful that God created avacados.  I feel like avocados are one of those things that were extra flourishes of creation.  Like platypuses, narwhals, starfruit, and lightning bugs.  God was like, “I don’t have to make these things, but life will be cooler with them around.”
10. I am thankful for anyone who takes the time to drop in and read this blog every once in a while.

Everyone have a great, great holiday season.