If I Could Time Travel (and some links)

I love time travel movies. They’re pretty much all good. Except for The Butterfly Effect. That’s a horrible film. From time to time I like to think about what I would do if I could travel back in time. Of course I would do the obvious things like invest in Apple, bet on sporting events, and attend Wrestlemania III to see Hulk Hogan take on Andre the Giant. Mostly, though, I think it would be fun to go back in time to mess with myself. Here are some times I would visit my past self.

• I would tell my college self to just pick a major.   I would also advise that self to avoid a class called Race and Gender in the Mass Media. Not only was it complete nonsense, I forgot to turn in a self evaluation, and got a bad grade.
• I would tell my high school self that his mullet is awesome, and that his future wife hates his British Knights.
• I would mess with my early twenties self for being cheap. I would tell him to break down and buy a new mattress. My wife claimed that the first mattress we owned after we were married, had actual hay in it. She said if you flipped it over, George Washington slept here was written on the tag.
• I would tell my eight year old self to not give up on the whole Navy fighter pilot thing. Yes, I loved Top Gun. I’d also tell him that climbing trees and riding bikes never really gets old.
• I would go back two weeks and tell myself that the biggest snowstorm of the season was still coming, and then watch how depressed my past self would get.
• I would travel back to when my past self was working in a crawlspace in Burlington, NJ, wait until that moment when he put his hand down on a dead squirrel and laugh at him.
• I would be tempted to visit the lumber mill where I worked alone at night, and then jump out from behind something to scare my past self, but it would be bad if my past self killed my future self.  So maybe not.
• I would be a guest at my own wedding, and congratulate myself, because I’m a really lucky guy.

  LINKS

• In case you missed it, here is a real photo of a baby weasel riding a woodpecker.
• Today is the anniversary of the fall of the Alamo where Davy Crockett, one of my childhood heroes, died.
• There is an animal in Australia called a quokka.  They are the happiest looking animals you will ever see, and lately people have been taking selfies with them.
• If you need any ideas for this years big adventure, look no further than Lonely Planet.