Here are some things to think about while you enjoy the beautiful weather this weekend. Or, if you live in California. Things to think about in between rain dances.
- Let’s just say that Bigfoot exists. But….. What if Bigfoot actually has small feet and he’s really embarrassed by that? What if he has developed prosthetic feet to use so that he can leave larger more intimidating footprints?
- Note to churches that are upset about there being no young people in the pews. I believe in Christianity and the value of attending church. If you want to attract more young folks, start by updating the hymnal. I was looking through it while ‘listening’ to the sermon, and I noticed that it was filled with songs that my great grandfather would have considered oldies.
- I was pondering the Tortoise and the Hare the other day and I came to the conclusion that Slow and Steady only wins the race if Fast stops to take a nap.
- If aliens landed on earth on a Sunday during football season and popped on the TV, based on the commercials they would be forced to conclude that most football fans are alcoholics with erectile dysfunction that love to gamble on fantasy football and are in desperate need of a new car insurance company. Maybe they wouldn’t be all that wrong.
- Everyone is rightly upset about what the ladies on The View said about nurses this week. Let’s turn the whole thing around and ask why they have broadcaster’s microphones in front of them.
- I am skeeved out by products that mask bad odors. An honest advertisement for these products would go something like, “So And So Good Smell Spray, for when you really need to mask the smell of the squalor you choose to live in.”
- You may have heard about the two high school football players in Texas who blindsided the ref. Well, never mind whatever really happened there. One of those kids has one of the most amazing mullets I’ve ever seen. My high school mullet bows to his mullet out of respect.
image via abcnews.go.com
- So, some guy in Florida accidentally set a king cobra loose. I imagine that he feels like I feel when I set my kids loose at one of those party places with inflatables. “Something bad could happen here, but it might not, but it could, but it might not, but odds are good.”
LINKS
- Who doesn’t love a news story about an out of control ice cream truck?
- Today is the fortieth anniversary of the arrest of Patty Hearst. For those of you unfamiliar with the Patty Hearst story and all it’s strangeness, here is an explanation of what went down.
- Mobs of tourists were disturbing nesting sea turtles in Costa Rica. Why do sharks exist? Sharks exist to eat these people.
- Some guys were doing some serious killer clown pranks in Vegas. As someone who is already wary of clowns, let me say NO,,,,,, just NO.
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