Reasons To Get Pumped About Fall (there are a few)

I used to look forward to cool weather.  I used to snowboard.  I used to camp in the snow.  I used to go to work in the summer and say, “I prefer cool weather, because you can always warm up, but when it’s hot, you can’t always cool down.”  What a crock.  Cold weather is awful.  It gets into your bones and you don’t actually get warm again until somewhere in mid June.

I was in Florida for a wedding last weekend (hence the wedding article).  When we got on the plane to return home from Tampa, the temperature was in the 80’s.  When I got off the plane in Philly the temperature was in the 40’s.  This was very depressing.  I thought, “You’re not going to make it.  You need some motivation to get through this.”  So, I decided to make list of good things about the fall season.  I’ll stick it on the wall near the front door.  Every time I have to go outside, I’ll put on my coziest sweatshirt, pop in my earbuds and blare You’re The Best Around by Joe Esposito (you know, from Karate Kid), and read my pump up list.

• Fall Foliage:  In my area we usually get beautiful fall colors.  I appreciate the beauty of nature even more when the tree is in someone else’s yard.  Those are leaves that I won’t have to pick up, unless I am sentenced to some kind of community service.
• Pumpkin Spice Everything:  I should clarify.  I don’t actually consume anything that is pumpkin flavored.  But I do enjoy seeing people get excited about the return of the pumpkin spice.  I also enjoy it when all of the people who look forward to pumpkin spice returning are made fun of.  Sometimes I am involved in making fun of them.  Like I’m doing right now.
• Movies:  A lot of the big blockbusters come out in the summertime, but November and December are good movie months too.  Bond movies always come out in November.  This year we have the last Hunger Games movie and the new Star Wars movie too.  Have you seen the trailer for that thing?  It looks great.  I would be remiss if I didn’t mention horror movies.  October is horror movie central.  I like them.  My wife hates them.  We went to see Scream in the theater.  We were in the back row and she was so stressed out that at one point she was standing with her back pressed against the wall and she had the funniest look on her face.  This presented a problem for me because the movie was entertaining, but so was the spectacle taking place beside me, and I didn’t want to miss either one.
• Halloween:  I know people who get all discombooberated about Halloween.  There all like, “It’s the devil’s holiday.”  Look, unless you’re sacrificing goats in your backyard on the 31st, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.  Hershey’s bought the holiday from the devil in 1932 anyways.  My kids don’t like to trick or treat all that much.  This is a little weird to me but I don’t push them.  I just make them continue until I feel like they have a satisfactory number of Sweet Tarts in their bags.  Yes, I take all their Sweet Tarts.  What?
• Thanksgiving:  Football and food.  What could make it better?? All Mexican food Thanksgiving.  I don’t know one person who’s ever said, “You know which holiday has the most delicious food? Thanksgiving.”  The most food.  Yes.  The best food.  No.  It’s mostly kind of bland.  Last year I proposed to make Thanksgiving have the best and the most food.  I think the Pilgrims and the Wampanoags would approve.

That’s really all I can think of.  Give me 95 degrees with high humidity.  Give me that heat that makes you sweat the minute you walk out the door.  Because you know what?  You can always cool down if it’s hot, but when it’s cold, you can’t always warm up.